VIRTUAL HUMOR WRITING CLASS: |
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VIRTUAL HUMOR WRITING CCLASS:Performers do not know how to sit down and create material, number one and number two, they also feel it's not real, it's not organic unless it just happens. So what DOES happen is you've got performers who suddenly get on the phone trying to get material. I have two partners and as writers we write and sell material to Bobby Slaten, Michael Pritchard, Will Durst, Jerry Sobel, Kevin Meany, Jose Simoen, Ron Lucas, on and on and on... What happens is suddenly the Tonight Show calls the comedian up and says, hey, we want to have you on air, we like your act but you know, we can use three minutes of your material but the rest is too dirty to use, you need two more minutes. Then the comedian gets on the phone, "John, can you write some material for me. I've got a gig coming up and I need two or three minutes of material." They simply don't have the luxury of waiting six months to get that material. Writers sit down and write it on demand. Writers write in a week what most comedians take a year to develop. We are going to show you in this class how to sit down and do it on purpose. I love this class. It's great. It will knock your socks off.  What's the difference between a Humorist and a Comedian? Click Here and find our! |
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VIRTUAL COMEDY WRITING COURSE
Writing Our First Chunk April 15, 2008 Okay. Somebody else want to read what they got? Answer: Hi, I'm XXX and I'm really glad to be here. This is relaxing for me. Lot's better than my day job. The pressure really builds in my office. This morning the windows blew and four secretaries were sucked out. It's a stressful office. It's getting to the point of terminal. Last week the computers quit. The boss is really tough. He doesn't give you a vacation. I get time off for good behavior. He doesn't give overtime. The time clock is a time bomb. My secretary couldn't take it. She tried to commit suicide with paper cuts. It's okay though. We took her to our break room (couldn't make out.) John: Okay - good. Do you want to read yours? Answer: Sure. I just got a new job. The boss is so tough you don't get a vacation but time off for good behavior. He actually has a scared straight program for new employees. The other day a window broke and a secretary was pulled out. Over the time clock is a sign 'your money or your life.' The break room is a padded cell. This place is so stressful the computers quit. I've gotten so depressed I tried to commit suicide with paper cuts. Okay. I guarantee you these three monologues here... Anybody who's done stand up comedy for more than a couple of months will tell you you'll hear much worse. Good solid monologues. Not great monologues. Not terrible monologues. Good workmanship monologues. Particularly under the time constraints that we had here, number one. And number two, real important... you were given those jokes to work with. When you take jokes that you like, that you feel motivated about - it will be much stronger. Much stronger. Do you want to read yours? Answer: I work in an office by day. The window broke and sucked out four secretaries. The day before, two of them attempted suicide with paper cuts. Three of my computers quit and my boss is a jerk. He's like a prison warden. He calls vacation - time off for good behavior. Every Thursday, he runs a scared straight program. He went so far as to have the break room padded. Okay - good. Sounds like a monologue in a comedy club. I'm serious about that. And keep in mind, arbitrarily given the jokes and you put them in this. What I want you to get a handle on is the fact that you do have the power to put these together. People put them together in different order. There's no right or wrong way. The point is that YOU can say, 'oh, I like it this way. No, let me try it this way.' Don't think in terms of your monologue as being one chunk. Think in terms of your individual laughs you can move around for its best effect. Okay. Writing Our First Chunk April 22, 2008 Another thing, anybody here do card tricks, magic or anything like that? Can you cut the cards with one hand? Tell me the method you know. Answer: Oh, I know one. Answer: No, I didn't. Okay that's all on the office chunk. Very good too. Also in the material that they did in terms of polishing. We're going to do this for the automobile and then I'm going to add a couple of more polishing lines, okay. Like I said. The main thing is to get a handle on the fact that you control the material. You can move this stuff around. Automobile: Question: Can you spell that. Automobile: Double space the jokes. Leave space in between. My suggestion is to cut this apart. Automobile: Question: Who's Earl Scheib? Question:For how Much? Automobile: Driving in the car pool lane you have to have three more in the car. Add King Tut and Moses. Automobile: Now what do you know about those jokes? Answer: They're a lot different. John: You have two different angles here. You've got expensive car and you've got old car. Automatically you need to tear them apart to separate the old from the expensive first. (Chatter) I definitely suggest you tear these apart and separate the old from the expensive. In reality, once you get comfortable with this you really don't literally have to tear them apart. You start doing it in your head. But in the beginning, believe me... tear them apart. Don't try to do this stuff in your head. Physically move them around and read through them. Writing Our First Chunk April 29, 2008 First thing you do is go through and put your rich jokes and your expensive jokes together. And you put your old jokes together. Then you put them into a logical order and then you put a transition between them. (Talking to student about material.) It's funny... That's the thing you find out. Sometimes you think they're funny ... I have no idea what the hell that means. I just think it's funny. Student: Is it old or is it new? Okay, this is real important. What do you see it as? I'm serious about this. Right now you're almost 95% through this class - you're a professional. Your views are as good as anybody's else. I'm not being facetious about this - seriously. You really have to validate your own material. Your opinion at this stage is just as good anybody's else. It really is. It's actually more important because you're the one who has to get up and do the material. Keep in mind folks, there's no RIGHT way to do it. Just what you see as the best way to do it. Remember the other one? We had four different people do it four different ways. No one did it in a way that I thought, 'My God! Why in the hell are they saying it in that order!" Anybody want to read what they have? Answer: I had a dream last year that I won the lottery. And I always wanted to purchase a special car. So I went to a couple of car dealers and spent a lot of money for it. This car didn't have a radio. Nadia Salerno-Sonnenberg played the violin. It used so much gas it had to have its own oil well. And when I went through the carwash, Paul McCartney would spit on my windshield. Only problem was when I had to have it repainted Earl Scheib charged $999.99. A cop pulled me over and I was PARKED. This car was so old that Michelangelo had painted the top like the Sistine Chapel. You could tell it was old because the radio played Gregorian chants. And driving in the Express lane I used King Tut and Moses. John: Good. You know what's interesting about that. I thought of Michelangelo making it expensive and you made it old. Good. Interesting. Thing is I wouldn't have done it so much as a dream. I don't think you need to put a dream in there. Keep it real. Say, "I loved the car because before that, the car I had was..." I like to have this stuff be declarative and statement of facts. But good solid chunk. Good organization. Writing Our First Chunk May 6, 2008 Okay, somebody else. Anybody else. Answer: My unique antique car. Earl Scheib $99.95 paid for the whole production - credits for my custom car. Nadia Salerno-Sonnenberg plays violin sitting in the backseat while I tell him how to tune it. The radio plays Gregorian chants. My VCR has a paint job in lavender by Michelangelo. And the roof top was the art theme of the Sistine Chapel glued for an extra bit of (could not understand). Right up on clue to "Cheero!" Khashoggi jumps off the hood and spits and covers my windshield up with colored blood. The express lane inflatable Moses blows up a real red sea divider. Answer: Oh, one suggestion. Earl Scheib's $99.95 paid for the whole... Answer: Oh, that's not on here. Answer: Oh, uh - here it is... Answer: My custom unique antique car. My unique antique custom car. Earl Scheib... Answer: I'm making it a weird car. Answer: Because with all these things together, I don't think I can make it a normal car. What it sounded like was you accomplished a lot of weird things but I had no way of connecting with it. It's real, real important folks. Start with the reality and exaggerate that. 'Hey, I won a lottery. I had the money to buy an expensive car.' Now I can tie in with a car that was expensive car. At least in an old car. The problem with doing weird stuff is, the audience goes, 'yeah, it's weird so what.' I didn't have a handle on it. You really have to come out and say, uh... Did you try to divide them into expensive and... You see, there's actually two angles on that. They're expensive jokes or they're old jokes. And once you've divided them up, then you had to put the old ones together... What I wanted you to do was put the old ones together and the new together. I didn't care so much what there was within that but I wanted you to see 'this is an old joke - this is a new joke.' And that's what surprised me about Anna's old car. Michelangelo painted the ceiling. I saw that originally as an expensive joke. Answer: How do I tell the difference between an old joke and a new joke? Answer: Oh, I was supposed to divide them? Next Week: Writing Our First Chunk - Polishing Jokes - Part XVI JOIN THE CLASS - What's your joke arrangement? Earlier lessons will be available for one month HERE:
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